Travels With Us
by Kovacsgirl
Summary: The County General Crew goes to Disneyland
1. Day One

Travels With Us  
Day One  
  
***O'HARE INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT***  
  
[Romano] I can't believe the hospital is paying for this!   
  
[Kerry] Me either! Aren't we lucky!  
  
[Romano] Yeah, really.   
  
[Dave] What exactly are we doing again?  
  
[Deb] We're going to Disneyland. Gee, why do you think we're in an airport?   
  
[Dave] Maybe we are picking someone up.  
  
[Deb] You are H-O-P-E-L-E-S-S hopeless!   
  
[Dave] Thanks!  
  
[Kerry] Here are the tickets. We're about to board.   
  
[Romano] Woo Hoo.  
  
[Dave] I want a window!  
  
[Deb] Why are you being so childish all the sudden?   
  
[Abby] What do you mean? He's always childish.  
  
[Luka] Do Dave and Deb always bicker like this?  
  
[Kerry] Yup, pretty much so.   
  
[Luka] I sense this is going to be a long trip.   
  
[John] I think I'll go home now...  
  
[Kerry] Sorry, we paid for this ticket, you're going. Now, everyone better get on this plane before I whack you all with my cane!  
  
[Cleo] Fine. Fine! Come on Peter.   
  
[Deb] Lead on O gracious leader!  
  
***ON THE PLANE***   
  
[Dave] I still want a window!  
  
[John] Fine! Just don't tell us again!  
  
[Elizabeth] I'm next to Mark.  
  
[Deb] Surprise, surprise.  
  
[Cleo] You're starting to sound like me.  
  
[Romano] Or, even scarier, me!  
  
[Deb] So?  
  
[Cleo] So quit it!  
  
[Deb] I'll try.   
  
[Abby] I'll sit by Luka.  
  
[Luka] Uh, actually, I'm sitting in the exit row, and I need to be by myself...  
  
[Abby] What. Don't you like me anymore?  
  
[Luka] Errr...I take the fifth!   
  
[Abby] Fifth what?  
  
[Luka] Amendment.  
  
[Abby] Who do you know about the Bill of Rights?   
  
[Luka] I'm getting naturalized.  
  
[Abby] Oh. Well, I'll sit by John then.   
  
[John] Oh, so you're kissing up to me now that you lost your boyfriend. Well, it isn't going to work.   
  
[Abby] Darn.   
  
[Romano] Will you people just sit down so the plane can take off?!?!   
  
[John] Uh, okay.   
  
[Elizabeth] Do we get a movie?   
  
[Dave] How about food?   
  
[Cleo] You know, he is really getting on my nerves.   
  
[Peter] Do you realize I haven't had any lines in this fic yet?   
  
[Cori] Don't worry. You'll get lines.   
  
[Peter] Who are you?  
  
[Cori] I'm Cori.   
  
[Peter] Who?   
  
[Cori] You know, Cori. The author of this fic.   
  
[Peter] But this fic is about the ER characters. You're not supposed to be here.   
  
[Cori] Well, if you wouldn't ask me questions, then I wouldn't be here.   
  
[Peter] I was talking to Cleo.   
  
[Cori] No, you were talking to me. That's how I wrote it.   
  
[Peter] Agh! I don't know what I'm saying any more! Just go away.   
  
[Cori] Fine. Bye.   
  
[Peter] And don't come back!  
  
[Cori's voice] Then don't give me a reason!  
  
[Peter] Bah Humbug!   
  
[Cleo] You realize it's only October don't you.   
  
[Peter] So what. I'm in a scroogie mood. So sue me!   
  
[Mark] Good grief!  
  
[Peter] Hey, you haven't had any lin-   
  
[Cleo] (putting a hand over Peter's mouth) You don't want her to come back do you?   
  
[Peter] Right. I forgot. Sorry.   
  
[Deb] Yay! The plane is taking off now!  
  
[Elizabeth] Yay! We have a movie! Earphones please!  
  
[Dave] I'm still hungry.  
  
[Mark] Good Grief!  
  
[Elizabeth] Is that all you say?   
  
[Mark] Right now? Yeah.  
  
[Captain] This is the captain speaking. We're going to take off now.   
  
[Romano] Finally.   
  
[John] I'll take some earphones too!  
  
[Luka] I'm sleepy.   
  
[Deb] It's only nine fifteen in the morning.   
  
[Luka] So? Zzzzzz...  
  
[Deb] There's one down.   
  
[Elizabeth] Yay! The movie is Anastasia!  
  
[Cleo] What kind of movie is that? They're supposed to show something like Airplane!   
  
[Kerry] Heavens, no!   
  
[Cleo] What's wrong with that?   
  
[Kerry] It will make me worry the plane will crash!  
  
[Dave] What! The plane is crashing?  
  
[Deb] No dummy, we're still on the runway!  
  
[John] This is going to be one looooooong trip! Did I already say that?   
  
[Peter] Probably.  
  
[Luka] I'm up! Did I miss anything?   
  
[Abby] No.   
  
[Dave] How many miles to Salt Lake City?   
  
[John] Got me. All I know is it's about two hours from Chicago.   
  
[Kerry] God! This dumb plane finally takes off!   
  
[Dave] Are we there yet?   
  
***IN ORANGE COUNTY***  
  
[Kerry] what happened to Salt Lake City?  
  
[John] I don't know. Maybe we missed it.  
  
[Luka] We need to go grab our bags.   
  
[Deb] Yeah.   
  
[Dave] There's mine!  
  
[Deb] Do you always pack so heavily? I mean, I thought that was a female trait.  
  
[Dave] I guess I never thought about it.   
  
[Luka] What exactly do you have in there?   
  
[Dave] Food!  
  
[Cleo] Doesn't he look very proud of himself?   
  
[Peter] Doesn't he always?   
  
[Kerry] There's my bag!  
  
[John] And mine.   
  
[Abby] So do we all have our luggage?   
  
[Everyone Else] Yup.   
  
[Kerry] Let's go!  
  
[Romano] I forgot to ask you. Are you in charge of this?   
  
[Kerry] More or less.   
  
[Romano] Cool.  
  
[Peter] Did you just say cool?   
  
[Romano] Yes.   
  
[Peter] Weird.   
  
[Kerry] To the hotel!   
  
***AT THE SANTA ANNA COMFORT INN***   
  
[Abby] So what's the game plan?   
  
[Kerry] Here are your hotel assignments.   
  
[Abby] I'm with...Cleo?   
  
[Cleo] Damn.   
  
[John] I'm with Luka! Good. I didn't get with Dave  
  
[Dave] Hey!   
  
[Deb] I'm with Kerry.   
  
[Mark] Lizzy, it's you and me!  
  
[Romano] Surprise, surprise.   
  
[John] You know, a ton of people have said that during this trip.   
  
[Abby] What?  
  
[John] Surprise, surprise.   
  
[Abby] Oh. Only two people. Three if you count you.   
  
[John] I guess so.   
  
[Romano] I'm with Peter!?!?!  
  
[Peter] I smell a rat!  
  
[Kerry] Good night everyone!  
  
[Dave] What about me!  
  
[Kerry] You're alone.   
  
[Dave] Whoopee!  
  
[Deb] Whoopee? Oh God.   
  
[Kerry] By the way, these are your roommates for the rest of the trip.   
  
[Romano] Hell on earth.   
  
[Peter] Hey, I'm not too happy about sharing a room with you either, but I'm not complaining - yet.   
  
[Kerry] Everyone get to bed we have to get started early tomorrow. Remember, meet here at eight.   
  
[Dave] Yes master.   
  
  
  
  
  



	2. Day Two

Day Two  
  
***HOTEL PATIO***  
  
[Dave] Breakfast!  
  
[Abby] Here we go again!   
  
[Dave] Hmmm... I'll take some of this, and some of this and some of this and...  
  
[Abby] Ugh! I'm going to repack.   
  
[Luka] So, Kerry what are our plans?   
  
[Kerry] Well, We need to be out of here soon, and we'll be driving -   
  
[Luka] Driving! With all these crazy people? You have to be kidding!   
  
[Kerry] We have to. It's the only way we'll get there. Plus it's not very far.   
  
[Luka] You're still crazy.   
  
[Cleo] Awww, come on Peter. You said last night that you could eat more then Malucci!  
  
[Peter] Yeah, well that was before I saw what was in his suitcase.   
  
[Romano] I hope we don't have to drive in a car together all the way to Disneyland.   
  
[Luka] Well, you're out of luck.   
  
[John] So, what time are we hitting the semi-open road?   
  
[Kerry] Ten.   
  
[Cleo] Agh! I have to go pack!   
  
[Peter] Me too!  
  
[Deb] Do what?   
  
[Peter] Pack.   
  
[Kerry] Has anyone seen Mark and Elizabeth?   
  
[Luka] No, but I have a fairly good idea what their doing.   
  
[John] Well, I'm not going to go get them.   
  
[Deb] Count me out.  
  
[Romano] Hey, I like Lizzy, but not that much.   
  
(All look at Dave)   
  
[Dave] Hey, what's everyone staring at? What's with the devilish looks? Oh, no. What ever it is, I'm not doing it...  
  
[Kerry] All you have to do is knock on Mark and Elizabeth's door.   
  
[Dave] Oh, all right.   
  
***HOTEL FRONT DESK, TEN MINUTES LATER***   
  
[Kerry] Okay. We are actually NOT driving -   
  
[Everyone Else] Yay!  
  
[Kerry] So, we will be taking the shuttle back to the airport then we'll get onto a bus that will take us to the Disneyland Hotel.   
  
[Cleo] Then what?   
  
[Kerry] Then I'll give you your room assignments and park tickets. From there on, you'll be on your own for the next six days   
  
(Kerry leaves to check out)  
  
[Dave] How exactly did she get in charge of this?  
  
[Deb] I don't know but I have the feeling it has something to do with that stick she always carries around.   
  
[Luka] Why exactly does she have a stick?   
  
[Deb] No one knows.   
  
[John] I do.   
  
[Deb] You do? How?   
  
[John] I lived with her.   
  
[Romano] So you'll tell us right?   
  
[John] Why should I tell you?   
  
[Kerry] Okay the shuttle should be here any minute.   
  
(Shuttle pulls up and all board.)  
  
[Cleo] Anyone got a battery?   
  
***DISNEYLAND HOTEL***   
  
[John] Finally! We get to the hotel! I was about to go crazy thanks to Deb and Dave!  
  
[Luka] I feel your pain dude.   
  
[John] Dude?   
  
[Luka] I'm picking up American lingo.   
  
[Peter] Can we switch rooms?   
  
[Romano] Yeah! I want to room with Lizzy.   
  
[Mark] Not on your life!  
  
[Romano] Grrrr...  
  
[Mark] Rar!   
  
[Deb] Wow. I never thought I see those two take each other on.   
  
[Dave] Fight! Fight! Fight!  
  
[Kerry] Okay. So we don't get evicted before we even get settled in, I'm going to keep the same rooms. So, Cleo and Abby, 1213. Luka and Carter, 1214. Lizzy and Mark, 1215. Romano and Peter, 1216. And Deb, you and I are in 1217.   
  
[Deb] Okay, lets go!  
  
[Dave] What about me?   
  
[Kerry] Oh Yeah, your in 1218.   
  
[John] Wait, we need our keys and we need to know what tower we're in.   
  
[Kerry] Oh, sorry. Here are your keys and we're all in the Sierra Tower.  
  
[John] Thanks. Come'on Luka.   
  
[Cleo] Look at that pool!   
  
[Romano] Lizzy in a swimsuit. Ohhhhhh!  
  
[Abby] Oh! Luka in a swimsuit!   
  
[Lizzy] Romano in a swimsuit. Ewwww!   
  
***PETER AND ROMANO'S ROOM***   
  
[Peter] Disney Channel!   
  
[Romano] MTV!  
  
[Peter] Disney Channel!  
  
[Romano] MTV!  
  
[Peter] Disney!  
  
[Romano] MTV!  
  
[Peter] Disney!  
  
[Romano] MTV!  
  
[Peter] Dis- You like MTV?   
  
[Romano] I always knew you were no better than Disney Channel!  
  
[Peter] Oh well. Disney!  
  
[Romano] MTV!  
  
***JOHN AND LUKA'S ROOM***   
  
[Luka] Noisy kids.   
  
[John] That doesn't sound like children. Listen.   
  
[Luka] You're right. It sounds like...Peter and Romano?   
  
[John] Kerry must be losing her mind. Who would actually put those two together?   
  
[Luka] I don't know. Want to go to the park?  
  
[John] Yeah, okay.   
  
***CONCIERGE LOUNGE***   
  
[Dave] Jackpot!  
  
[Deb] I can't believe you drug me all the way up here to show me this food! I'm going to find John and Luka.   
  
***DISNEYLAND PARK***   
  
[Luka] So, where to first?   
  
[John] This Indiana Jones adventure looks fun.  
  
[Luka] Okay.   
  
[John] Wow, the line looks long!  
  
[Guy Dressed in Adventure Clothes] Are you John Carter and Luka Kovac?   
  
[Luka] Yeah.   
  
[Guy] Come with me.   
  
(They are led to the front of the line where Kerry is waiting)  
  
[Kerry] What took you guys so long?   
  
[John] We didn't know you were saving us a spot.   
  
[Kerry] Well, we're about to get on.   
  
[Luka] I want to drive!   
  
[John] Funky seat belts.   
  
[Kerry] I hope this isn't too wild...  
  
[Luka] Here we go!  
  
[John] I remember this movie. Agh! Don't look into his eyes!   
  
[Luka] Why?   
  
[Kerry] Ahhhhh!  
  
[Luka] Agh! I hate snakes.   
  
[Kerry] This belt's going to slit open my stomach!   
  
[John] No it's not!   
  
[Luka] Ugh!   
  
[Kerry] I'm going to be sick!  
  
[Luka] Bugs!  
  
[Kerry] Bugs! Oh god!   
  
[John] Oh Yes! My favorite part! The creaky, ready to fall apart bridge!   
  
[Luka] Cool!  
  
[Kerry] A creaky, ready to fall apart bridge! What's under it, sharp, pointy rocks?  
  
[John] No, lava actually.  
  
[Luka] Bring it on!  
  
[Kerry] Damn you John Carter!   
  
[John] How is this my fault?   
  
[Kerry] I don't know.   
  
[Luka] Wow look at all those skulls! Reminds me of this church in Europe built of all the bone of the Black Plague victims!  
  
[John and Kerry] Ewww!  
  
[Kerry] Oh my god, the car is stuck! I'm going to die!  
  
[John] It's part of the ride, Kerry.   
  
[Luka] Watch out for that snake!   
  
[Kerry] What snak... Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!  
  
[John] Don't worry Kerry, it's almost over.   
  
[Kerry] Good.   
  
[Luka] Look at the size of that boulder!   
  
[Kerry] OH MY GOD!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!   
  
(Kerry begins hyperventilating)   
  
[John] It wasn't too good of an idea for her to come with us was it?   
  
[Luka] I guess not. Do you have a bag?   
  
[John] Kerry, you can uncover your eyes now. The ride is over.   
  
(They all get out)   
  
[Kerry] That was the scariest thing I've ever seen?   
  
[John] Worse than last Valentine's Day?   
  
[Luka] Worse than The Exorcist?   
  
[Deb] Hey guys I've been all over looking for you! What's up with Kerry?   
  
[John] She just got off of Indiana Jones.   
  
[Deb] Hey, I have fast passes for Indiana Jones. You guys want to go on again?   
  
[John] Sure.   
  
[Luka] Count me in. Coming Kerry?   
  
[Kerry] I think I'll go on Peter Pan.   
  
[Luka] Suit yourself.   
  
***PETER AND ROMANO'S ROOM***  
  
[Peter] Elizabeth likes me!   
  
[Romano] No, she likes me!  
  
(Mark opens the door and sticks his head in)   
  
[Mark] Actually, she likes me.   
  
***CONCIERGE LOUNGE, LATER THAT NIGHT***  
  
[Deb] That was so much fun!   
  
[Luka] I know. Kerry was so funny!   
  
[John] Speaking of Kerry, how is she?   
  
[Deb] Well, she'll recover. In a day to two.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	3. Day Three

Day Three  
  
***CONCIERGE LOUNGE***  
  
John and Luka are looking over a map of the park.   
  
[John] How many roller coasters are there here?   
  
[Luka] I don't know. Five maybe.   
  
[John] Okay, I say we hit all the "mountains" today, at least.   
  
[Luka] The Holy Grail of Disneyland!  
  
[John] Hey, good term. I like it.   
  
[Luka] Thanks.   
  
[Deb] Hey guys. What's up?   
  
[Luka] We're planning our day.   
  
[John] We're doing the Holy Grail of Disneyland first.   
  
[Deb] That what?  
  
[John] The Holy Grail.   
  
[Luka] Splash Mountain, Matterhorn Mountain, Space Mountain, and Big Thunder Mountain.   
  
[Deb] Ahhhh. Do you guys want to Jones too?   
  
[John and Luka] Sure.   
  
[Kerry] Hi evil, inconsiderate, co-workers.   
  
[Deb, John, and Luka] G'day weak stomached, party pooping boss.   
  
[Kerry] Don't be critical; you should see Romano on that ride.   
  
[John] Hey good idea! Thanks Weaver.   
  
[Deb] I'll go get him. Maybe we can get a picture!  
  
[Luka] We might even be able to blackmail him!   
  
[John] For more money!  
  
[Kerry] Hey! This was my idea; count me in!   
  
[Luka] But then you have to go on Jones again.   
  
[Kerry] I'll ride that damn thing to hell and back to blackmail Romano!   
  
[John] Do ya think Elizabeth would get a kick out of this?   
  
[Kerry] Probably.   
  
[Luka] Benton, Abby, Mark, hell, everyone would like too see this!   
  
[John] Yo Dave, get your butt over here!  
  
[Dave (face stuffed)] Mhat?   
  
[John] Do you want to see Romano on Indiana Jones?   
  
[Dave] Mushahg sdhksjkhiusj  
  
[Kerry (aside to Luka)] Is he speaking Croatian?   
  
[Luka] Not the one I know.   
  
[John] Finish chewing Dave.   
  
[Kerry] You could choke.   
  
[Luka] I thought you were a doctor.   
  
[Dave] I am.   
  
[Luka] Then why are you stuffing your face?   
  
[John] That doesn't matter. Dave, here's our plan...  
  
John whispers the plan to Dave and the others. They separate and get everyone else.   
  
***INDIANA JONES RIDE, ADVENTURE LAND***  
  
[Romano] Why are we ALL here? I thought we were supposed to stay out of each other's ways on this trip.   
  
[John] Well Doctor Romano, this is a very special occasion.   
  
[Romano] Aren't you the guy who went to Atlanta for drug rehab?   
  
[John] Well...   
  
[Elizabeth] Robert, didn't you already ask that?   
  
[Kovacsgirl] Oh right, you did.   
  
[Romano] I did?   
  
[Kovacsgirl] Yeah. Let's see if I can erase those lines...  
  
[Romano] No!   
  
[Kovacsgirl] Oops. Actually, you haven't asked that question. My bad. But I mean how could you not know that?   
  
[Romano] What?   
  
[John] That I went to Atlanta! You horrid little turd!   
  
[Elizabeth] That's my line!   
  
[John] Is it? When do you say it?   
  
John flips through a book labeled SCRIPT. Kovacsgirl grabs it.   
  
[Kovacsgirl] What is this?!?!?  
  
[John] The script, duh.   
  
[Kovacsgirl] No. That's going to far.   
  
[Dave] What do you mean?   
  
[Kovacsgirl] I'm writing this! Not some other lunatic.   
  
[Kerry] Are you saying you're a lunatic?   
  
[Fred] I'm a lunatic.   
  
[Luka and Kovacsgirl] How did YOU get here!?!?!?  
  
[Fred] I don't know. I was a the admit, and suddenly I was here.   
  
[Romano (looking in a crystal ball)] At least someone is doing their job.   
  
[Kovacsgirl] This is getting waaaaay out of hand. Obviously, I'm not writing this.   
  
[Peter] Well OBVIOUSLY otherwise you wouldn't be he bugging us.   
  
[Kovacsgirl] What do you have against me?  
  
[Peter] I don't know. You're the author.   
  
[Kovacsgirl] Agh!   
  
[Luka] If you're the author, how come your cue says 'Kovacsgirl'   
  
[Kovacsgirl] How do you know what my cues say?  
  
[Luka] It says in the scr-  
  
[Kovacsgirl] Give me that!  
  
She torches the script.   
  
[Kim] Kerry! Why didn't you call me. This looks like a psychiatric problem.  
  
[Kovacsgirl] I am not mental!   
  
[Kerry] Kim! I'm straight! I mean, how are you?   
  
[Kovacsgirl] Umi! Ginger! Alanna! Damn, I can see your grinning faces now. I'm coming up there right now! Heaven help you!   
  
[Luka] Wait!   
  
[Kovacsgirl] What?   
  
[Luka] Why does your cue say 'Kovacsgirl' and why does it have my last name in it?   
  
[Kovacsgirl] Look, I got a problem to deal with. I'll tell you later. But first... Bibidi-Bobidi-Boo!   
  
Frank, Kim and the crystal ball disappear.  
  
[John] Bye.   
  
[Dave] We're they go?   
  
[Kovacsgirl] Away. Ta-ta my dear fictitious friends.   
  
[Everyone] Bye.   
  
Kovacsgirl disappears in a cloud of smoke.   
  
[Elizabeth] How does she BLOODY do that.   
  
[John] God, we wasted a long time!   
  
[Luka] Come on! These passes are almost out!   
  
***LATER, SAME PLACE***   
  
[Deb] You looked so funny!   
  
[Dave] I can't wait for these pictures to come out!   
  
[Cleo] That's the first intelligent thing I've heard you say this trip!   
  
[Deb] This month!  
  
[Peter] This year!   
  
[Luka] Ever!   
  
[Abby] We're on our way to living like Aristocrats!   
  
[Mark] Money, Money, Money!   
  
[Elizabeth] Mark! I can't believe you said that!  
  
[Mark] I have to have a way to pay for that frigging surgery! I'm not made of money, you know.  
  
[Elizabeth] True. Very True.   
  
[Cleo] Just think, Peter! I'll be able to repair the damage Kanysia did! And we'll like happily ever after in our dream house!   
  
[Peter] You could just sue her.   
  
[Cleo] But that's no fun. Plus I don't know any lawyers.   
  
[Doug] I'm a lawyer.   
  
[Everyone] Doug!   
  
[Doug] Everyone!   
  
[Kerry] What are you doing here? And why are you a lawyer?   
  
[Doug] I'm sick of peds. I wanted a mans job. He sees Luka Who the hell are you?   
  
[Luka] Luka Kovac.   
  
[Doug] Whoda, Whata?   
  
[LUKA KOVAC. CLEAN YOUR EARS YOU IDIOT!] Read the cues, you woman stealer!   
  
[DOUG ROSS. SPEAK CLEARER YOU STUPID EUROPEAN] So you're the one who Carol almost married. You !@@!$%~~@~@!~#!!!!   
  
[Fan Fic Police] Due to your explicit language, Mr. Ross, you can't be in this fic any more.   
  
[Doug] That's doctor to you.   
  
[Fan Fic Police] Sorry, you lost that title when you became a lawyer. It's a good thing too, because Doctor Kovac is suing you.   
  
[Doug] ???  
  
Fan Fic Police drags Doug off.   
  
[Luka] See you in court looser!   
  
[Kerry] Gee, today had been very strange.   
  
[John] I think we better go back to the hotel before anything happens.  
  
[Abby] Anything ELSE you mean.   
  
[John] Right.   
  
[Romano] This entire part of the fic is crazy!  
  
[Dave] This is a fic?   
  
[Deb] You should see the TV show!  
  
[Dave] There's a TV show?   
  
[Luka] Dave, you're rubbing on my nerves.  
  
[Cleo] And it takes a lot to rub on Luka's nerves.   
  
[Luka] I think that neurotic author ought to close this neurotic part of this neurotic fic before aliens come and level LA!   
  
[Kim] I'm still available for psyche consults.   
She looks at Kerry.  
And more...  
  
[Kerry] Augh! Hide me!   
  
[Luka] God, maybe she DOES need to see a psychiatrist...  
  
[Kovacsgirl] Nah, It's Friday. ER was on last night. I'm always like this when ER is on. I'll end this now. But it's a good idea about the aliens. I saw Independence Day today. Maybe...   
  
[Everyone minus Dave] SAVE US!!!!!!  
  
[Dave] There's a show?   



	4. Day Four

Day Four  
  
***DISNEYLAND RAILROAD***  
  
[Dave] I think I'm going to go to Tom Sawyer's Island today.  
  
[Deb] That's nice.   
  
[Cleo] I think I'm going to do some shopping.   
  
[Abby] Sounds like a good idea!   
  
[Kerry] Count me in.   
  
[Deb] What the hell, I'll come too.   
  
[Cleo] Cool.   
  
[Peter] I think I'll go to the Haunted Mansion.   
  
[John] Hey, me and Luka are going to New Orleans Square. You want to come with us.   
  
[Kerry] Luka and I.  
  
[John] What?   
  
[Kerry] You said 'me and Luka.' That's grammatically incorrect. It should be Luka and I.   
  
[John] Whatever.   
  
[Luka] She is right, you know.   
  
[John] Does it look like I care?   
  
[Luka] You know what, it doesn't.   
  
[Peter] Gee, that's incredible.   
  
[John] I may have been a mockable med student once, but I'm not now!   
  
[Peter] So? I'm still going to mock you.   
  
[John] Wow. You have REALLY changed.   
  
[Peter] Ya think so? I wasn't sure.   
  
[Cleo] Word to the wise Peter. Learn to recognize sarcasm when you hear it.  
  
[Peter] Uh, okay. Why do you say that?  
  
[Cleo] Ugh! Forget it.   
  
[Peter] You never brought it up.   
  
[Dave] Hey, you know that crazy author person?   
  
[Deb] Yeah?   
  
[Dave] What did she mean by there being a TV show?   
  
[Deb] There is a TV show called ER that is all about us.   
  
[Dave] Us?   
  
[Deb] Yup.   
  
[Dave] So why don't we have any royalties? And is this on TV right now?  
  
[Deb] We don't have any royalties because we are fictitious characters. And this is not on TV because of the disclaimer.  
  
[Dave] What disclaimer?   
  
[Deb] That disclaimer.   
  
[Disclaimer] I DO NOT own ER. A bunch of rich Hollywood producers do. I don't even know all of them. I certainly wish I owned ER and if I did, it would be a much different show. Plus I would be rich. I don't own Disneyland either. I wish I owned it too. I'm undoubtedly not making any money on this story. That's about all. Oh, right. Luka is HOT!!!!  
  
[Dave] God, that was strange.   
  
[Deb] What do you expect from the crazy person who is writing this?   
  
[Dave] Good point. Hey Luka! Did you get a look at this?   
  
[Luka] What?   
  
[Dave] This.   
  
[Luka (blushing)] Well, I don't know about that... Aren't disclaimers supposed to be at the beginning of the story?   
  
[Conductor] We are now arriving at New Orleans Square.  
  
[Peter] Yo Luka! Screw the disclaimer; we're getting of here.   
  
[Luka] 'K. See you guys later.   
  
[Kerry, Deb, Cleo, Abby and Dave] Bye!   
  
***HOTEL POOL***  
  
[Romano] Look at Lizzy!   
  
[Sea Gull] Now which one is she?   
  
[Romano] The one with the frizzy reddish hair, in that sexy swimsuit.   
  
[Sea Gull] Oh.   
  
[Romano] Isn't she the sexiest thing here?   
  
[Sea Gull] Damnit dude, I'm a sea gull. How should I know?   
  
[Elizabeth] Mark, Robert is looking this way.   
  
[Mark] Does he always talk to sea gulls?   
  
[Elizabeth] Oh, is that a sea gull? I thought it was a towel.   
  
***PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN***   
  
[John] This is like my favorite ride here!   
  
[Luka] I get the idea you've been here before.   
  
[John] You kidding? My family's yearly pilgrimage to Disneyland is the major reason I haven't committed suicide.  
  
[Peter] Is this ride ever going to begin?   
  
[Kovacsgirl] Here it goes!   
  
[Peter] Not you again!   
  
[Kovacsgirl] Look, this is my favorite ride in the whole park. I'm not going to miss a chance to go on it.   
  
[John] Mine too!   
  
[Kovacsgirl] I know.   
  
[Peter] Of course. She's the author.   
  
[Luka] Can you answer my question?   
  
[Kovacsgirl] Sure. We've got time...  
  
[Talking Skull] ...And remember, dead men tell NO tales.   
  
[Peter] God, that's sweet.   
  
[John] You just keep switching personalities on me. One minute you're a dumb a Dave, then you're as sarcastic as Deb, or Cleo, or Romano.   
  
[Peter] Yeah... Oh, look! Treasure! See you later!   
  
Peter jumps out of the boat and runs for the treasure.   
  
[Kovacsgirl] You're not going to get very far.  
  
[Peter] Damn, the treasure is stuck on there!  
  
[Kovacsgirl] I would suggest you come back here.   
  
[Peter] Fine.   
  
He gets back in the boat.   
  
[Kovacsgirl] Now, where was I? Oh right. This is my screen name. My pen name is Cori, as you saw on the first day, and my real name is... Well, you can't know that one.   
  
[Luka] Would you tell me if...  
  
[Kovacsgirl] Sorry, you can't say that. This is supposed to be a PG fic. Yesterday was already PG-13. My boss won't let me do any more 13s in this series. But you can check out "Luka's Harmony," at fanfiction.net or fanfiction.ertvonline.com if you want to talk about THAT.   
  
[Luka] Will you answer the question?   
  
[Kovacsgirl] Nope. Can't. It's against the Fan Fic Authors of the World's rules.   
  
[Disembodied Voice] Dead Men Tell no tales!!!  
  
[Peter] I know! God, this is a boring ride.   
  
[Luka] What do you mean?  
  
[Fan Fic Fairy] See, it says right here...  
  
[Kovacsgirl] Give me that! 'No author may engage...'  
  
[Luka] Give me that! Oh, damn.   
  
[Kovacsgirl] This is really pointless. Five pages into the story and it is a bunch of ramblings.   
  
[Peter] Isn't that the purpose of the story?  
  
[Kovacsgirl] Not really. If I wanted a bunch of ramblings then I would write it.   
  
[John] You know, you could.   
  
[Kovacsgirl] Maybe. That's a good idea. Thanks guys.  
  
[John] Anytime  
  
[Peter] You have to give me credit!  
  
[Kovacsgirl] Maybe. Probably not. That would look strange, especially since you're not real.  
  
[Peter] What do you mean? You're talking to us aren't you?   
  
[Pirate] Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Rum!  
  
[John] I love this song! Yo Ho Ho and a bottle of Rum!   
  
[Fan Fic Fairy] Ummm, ducks, you have appeared to written spoilers in a non-spoilers story.   
  
[Kovacsgirl] What? Where?   
  
[Fan Fic Fairy] In 'Day Three' you wrote that Mark is having brain surgery and Kanysia destroyed Cleo's house. If this is October of 2000, then these events haven't occurred yet.  
  
[Kovacsgirl] Where does it say that?   
  
[Fan Fic Fairy] FFAW rulebook. Clause 3917, sub-point Z. 'No spoilers are permitted in a non-spoiler story.'   
  
[Kovacsgirl] Oh, good point. I've never read past sub-point Q. I'll have to go fix that. See you guys later.   
  
She disappears  
  
[Luka] Damn. Do you know how close I was to...?  
  
[John] Yeah, I have a feeling I do.   
  
[Luka] Maybe you could write a fic...  
  
[John] Don't get your hopes up. Sit back and enjoy the ride.   
  
[Pirate] Yo Ho Ho and a bottle of rum!!!  
  
***TOM SAWYER'S ISLAND***   
  
[Dave] I wonder where all the people are? Maybe I should go back to the raft dock.   
  
He gets there only to find that it's roped off.   
  
[Dave] Gee, that's funny. I better check the map. 'Tom Sawyer's island closes at five.'   
He glances at his watch.   
Damn, it's five thirty. I guess I'll just have to hang out here on this island. ...All night...without any food...when it's dark...and scary things come out... OH GOD, SAVE MY POOR TORTURED SOUL!!!!  
  
***MAIN STREET USA***  
  
[Kerry] That scream...  
  
[Deb] It sounded kinda like Dave.   
  
[Abby] Nah. Come on, I see a really cute shirt at the emporium.  
  
***STAR TOURS***   
  
[Luka] Hey, there's Mark and Lizzy! Guys, over here!  
  
[Mark] Hi. We just got here.   
  
[John] We're going on Star Tours.   
  
[Elizabeth] Great! We'll go with you. That's what we were going to do.   
  
[Peter] Great.   
  
[Mark] Where are Kerry, Cleo, Abby, Deb, and Dave?   
  
[Luka] The girls are shopping.   
  
[John] And Dave is at Tom Sawyer's Island.   
  
[Mark] Doesn't that close at five?   
  
[Peter] Yeah.   
  
[John] Oh god, its quarter to six.   
  
[Elizabeth] Oh well, it will teach him to be on time.   
  
[Mark] Kerry will be happy to hear that.   
  
[Peter] And Romano.   
  
[Elizabeth] Do you know he talks to sea gulls?   
  
[Luka] Who?   
  
[Elizabeth] Robert!   
  
[Luka] Right, I knew that.   
  
[R2D2] Beep, Beep, Blip.   
  
[Elizabeth] Ohhhh! He's so cute.   
  
[Mark] It's a hunk of metal.   
  
[Elizabeth] Awwwww. Let's adopt him!   
  
[Mark] Lizzy, he doesn't need to be adopted.   
  
[Elizabeth] Oh, right. Forget it.  
  
[Peter] This line is moving quickly.   
  
[Lucy] Number in your group.   
  
[John] Um, one, two, three...five.   
  
[Lucy] Okay, row two.   
  
[John] Lucy?   
  
[Lucy] Carter?   
  
[John] What are you doing here?   
  
[Lucy] This is the happiest kingdom on earth.  
  
[John] I know, but you're dead.   
  
[Lucy] I got a job here. They get a lot of people from heaven.   
  
[John] Oh. Want to get dinner later?   
  
[Lucy] Sorry, I'm dead, I can't.   
  
[John] Whatever.   
  
[Elizabeth] See ya later, Luce.   
  
[Lucy] Bye Lizzy!   
  
***Tom Sawyer's Island***   
  
[Dave] Anyone?   
  
[Owl] Whho, Whho.   
  
[Dave] What was that!?   
  
[Mongoose] Scritca, Scritca, Scratch.   
  
[Dave] Hello?   
  
[Ghost] Boo!   
  
[Dave] A ghost!  
  
[Ghost] It's almost Halloween. What do you expect?  
  
[Dave] Good point.   
  
[Mongoose] Echk, Echk!   
  
[Dave] Agh!   
  
[Mongoose] I'm going to get you David!  
  
[Dave] My forth grade teacher Mrs. DeVil! Save me!  
  
[Mongoose] Bwa Ha Ha!   



	5. Day Five

Day Five  
  
[Peter] Well, I don't know about you guys, but I'm going to The Haunted Mansion.   
  
[John] Oh right. We were going to do that yesterday, weren't we?   
  
[Luka] Yeah, let's go!   
  
[Abby] I'll come too. I've done all my shopping.   
  
[Cleo] I guess I have to come. I used up all my money.   
  
[Luka] That wasn't too smart.   
  
[Peter] I wouldn't exactly call Cleo smart...  
  
[Cleo] Hey!  
  
[Peter] It's the truth, hun.  
  
[Cleo] I guess I have to go back to school.   
  
[Abby] Yes! Then I'll take your job.   
  
[Kerry] Uh, Abby, you haven't gone through med-school.   
  
[Abby] Screw med-school.   
  
[John] It's like I always say: I wouldn't want to go to County General.   
  
[Luka] But you did.   
  
[John] I didn't have a choice.   
  
[Kerry] Well...  
  
[John] Oh, yeah. Like you guys are going to rush me to the Mem when I'm right there in County.   
  
[Mark] Does Chicago have a Mem?   
  
[Elizabeth] Probably.   
  
[Mark] I mean, I know NYC does, and Boston too...  
  
[John] We are not going to discuss hospitals right now!!!  
  
[Deb] Yeah, we're on vacation.  
  
[Kerry] Where exactly is Dave?   
  
[Dave] Here I am!  
  
[Kerry] Where have you been?   
  
[Dave] To make a long story short, I got stuck on Tom Sawyer's Island.  
  
[Kerry] What kind of idiot gets stuck on Tom Sawyer's Island?  
  
[Deb] Dave.   
  
[Peter] Cleo.   
  
[Cleo] I thought you liked me.   
  
[Peter] I do. But I think you're an idiot.   
  
[Cleo] That's gratitude for you!  
  
[Peter] Come on; let's get to the Hunted Mansion!   
  
[Everyone Else] Okay!   
  
***THE HUNTED MANSION***   
  
[Peter] Yes, yes, YES! I've been waiting the entire trip for this!   
  
[Deb] We can tell.   
  
[Peter] Oh, goody, the line isn't long!  
  
[Deb] Oh goody?   
  
[Peter] That's what I said.   
  
[Deb] Oh god.   
  
[John] Well, it has to be good. It's in the same part of the park as Pirates.   
  
[Luka] You and your Pirates.   
  
[John] I bet you didn't know the author is wearing a Pirates of the Caribbean sweatshirt right now.   
  
[Dave] She is?   
  
[John] Yeah, look!   
  
[Luka (Looking out from the computer screen)] You're right.   
  
[Deb] How do you know these things?   
  
[John] I'm her favorite ER character, thus I'm omnipotent.   
  
[Luka] I thought I was her favorite.   
  
[John] I don't really know. I'm just making that up. But I am omnipotent. And, I think she's written the most stories about me.   
  
[Luka] Oh wow! You have two angst stories! I'm so wowed! I have an angst AND a muli-chapter story!   
  
[John] Okay, you win. But I'm still omnipotent.   
  
[Luka] Fine, but I get to be omnipotent in the next fic.   
  
[John] Okay.   
  
[Luka] Shake on it?   
  
[John] Okay.   
  
[Peter] it's time to go in!   
  
[Deb] Let me guess. John is going to say "okay."   
  
[John] How did you know?   
  
[Deb] Lucky guess.   
  
[John] Un Uh.   
  
[Deb] It was!   
  
[Fat Guy] Hey! You're holding up the line.   
  
[Deb] Oh, sorry.   
  
[Cleo] I hope they don't shut us in here.   
  
[Door] Slam!   
  
[Cleo] I had to open my big mouth!   
  
[Abby] I'm afraid of enclosed spaces!   
  
[Kid] Ohhhh! The room is stretching!   
  
[Cleo] Ohhhh. That is so amazing.   
  
[Luka] It's an optical illusion.   
  
[Cleo] Great, ruin it for us dumb people!  
  
[Dave] Yeah.   
  
[Luka] You mean you think you're dumb?   
  
[Dave] For all the intents and proposes of this fic, yeah.   
  
[Abby] Agh! The lights went out! We're all going to die!!!!  
  
[Luka] Abby, calm down. See, there's a doorway.   
  
[Abby] Thank god! Let me through, Let me through!   
  
[Luka] Someone catch her.   
  
[Cleo] Peter, will you sit with me?   
  
[Peter] Uh, sure.  
  
[Abby] I'm so damn scared!   
  
[Kerry] You look like me on Indiana Jones.   
  
[Abby] Gee, that makes me feel great.   
  
[Kerry] Fine, hate me. I'm just your boss.   
  
[Luka] Abby, get in this uh, doom-buggy.  
  
[Abby] What!?!  
  
[Luka] Uh, car thingy.   
  
[Abby] You'll sit with me.   
  
[Luka] Sure.   
  
[Deb] John, will you sit with me?   
  
[John] I'd be glad to.   
  
[Deb] Are you scared?  
  
[John] No, not really. No.   
  
[Deb] Good. Me either.   
  
[John] I don't think I can say the same for Abby.   
  
[Abby] AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!  
  
[Luka] Great, now I'll need hearing aids.   
  
[Abby] Save me, save me, save me, save me!!!!  
  
[Luka] Abby, It's only a ride.   
  
[Disembodied Voice] *Well, it says something, but I don't remember, it's been a loooong time since I've been on this ride.*  
  
[Abby] Holy shit, it said something!!!!  
  
[Luka] Abby, that's part of the ride.   
  
[Abby] Great, now we're going up some ramp.   
  
[Luka] Look at that candelabra!  
  
[Abby] Wha- Agh!!!!  
  
[Luka] Not so loud please.   
  
[Abby] Oh, sorry.   
  
[Luka] Finally, some real ghosts!   
  
[Abby] Real?!  
  
[Luka] In a Pseudoic sense of the word.  
  
[Abby] I swear you aren't using real English.   
  
[Luka] Pseudo. It means not real. It's Greek. Didn't they teach you anything in high school English?   
  
[Abby] No. My teacher was a pirate.   
  
[Luka] You're from Miami right?   
  
[Abby] Yeah.   
  
[Luka] That explains it.   
  
[Abby] What?   
  
[Luka] Nothing. Never mind.   
  
[Abby] I never do.   
  
[Luka] Look at those people dancing.   
  
[Abby] They're not people. They're ghosts.   
  
[Luka] They were people at one time.   
  
[Abby] I thought you said this was fake.   
  
[Luka] It is, you know what I mean.  
  
[Abby] Do I?   
  
[Luka] Ugh, that's a sound I hear way to often.   
  
[Abby] What?   
  
[Luka] A heart beat.   
  
[Abby] Oh, that is creepy.   
  
(The ride stops)  
  
[Abby] Why did it stop?  
  
[Luka] Go me.   
  
[Disembodied Voice] Restless spirits have detained our trip. It shall begin again in a moment.   
  
[Luka] That's why  
  
[Abby] Oh.   
  
[Luka] I wonder how long this will take.   
  
[Abby] This is kinda creepy.   
  
[Luka] Yeah, with that pounding heart and all...  
  
[Abby (frantically)] Help me!!  
  
[Luka] Abby, everything will be all right.   
  
(The ride begins again)   
  
[Luka] There. See. It's almost over.   
  
[Abby] You had better be right. I don't like this one bit.   
  
(A little later in the ride, toward the end)   
  
[Dave] Well, that was enjoyable.   
  
[Disembodied Voice] These spirits will follow you home!   
  
[Ghost 1] Hee Hee!   
  
[Ghost 2] I love this part!  
  
[Ghost 3] Me too... Hey it's Dave!  
  
[Dave] Hey, I remember you! You were on the island with me.   
  
[Ghost 3] Small world hun?   
  
[Dave] No, actually it was Tom Sawyer's Island.   
  
[Ghost 3] Ha Ha.   
  
[Ghost 1] Gee, that was a *great* crack.   
  
[Ghost 2] I think someone is running out of ideas.   
  
[Dave] Me too.   
  
[Abby] Uh, Luka, those ghosts are talking...   
  
***TOONTOWN***  
  
[Peter] This better be good.   
  
[Dave] I'm hungry.   
  
[Cleo] My feet hurt.   
  
[Deb] I'm thirsty.   
  
[John] Well, there's some Goofy water.   
  
[Deb] Ha Ha. Real funny.   
  
[John] I'm serious. Look over there.   
  
[Sign] Goofy Water.   
  
[Deb] Well, I'll be damned. It is Goofy water.  
  
[John] Told you!  
  
[Abby] What do you want to do?   
  
[Dave] I'm going to the bounce house.  
  
[Abby] Dave, you're a little too tall for that.   
  
[Kerry] His age fits the requirement though.   
  
[Deb] I'll *hic* agree with that.  
  
[Abby] What did you drink?   
  
[Deb] *hic* Oh, just some *hic* Goofy water.   
  
[Luka] Goofy...what?   
  
[John] Water. I told her to drink some.   
  
[Kerry] Carter, you're senior resident. You should have know better.   
  
[Deb] He's senior *hic* resident?   
  
[John] I am?   
  
[Kerry] I thought you were.   
  
[John] Ummm, maybe I am.   
  
[Luka] Who's omnipotent now?   
  
[John] I still am, I think.   
  
[Deb] *Hic*   
  
[Abby] I do believe she's drunk.   
  
[Peter] Oh, that's a startling announcement!  
  
[Elizabeth (Sneaking up behind Deb)] CLEAR!!!!  
  
[Deb] Agh!  
  
[Mark] What did you do that for?   
  
[Elizabeth] Scare the hiccups out of her.   
  
[Mark] Oh.  
  
[Deb] Thanks.  
  
[Kerry] When I had the hic- (She clamps her mouth shut)   
  
[Elizabeth] Why did you do that?   
  
[Kerry] No more spoilers.   
  
[Elizabeth] Oh. Right.   
  
[John] Where's Dave?   
  
[Luka] I think he went to the bounce house.   
  
[Dave] Whoopee!   
  
[John] I can't believe he mad it in.   
  
[Dave] This is fun. Come join me!   
  
[Kerry] I think I speak for everyone when I say, no.   
  
[Dave] Come on!   
  
[Romano] Out of my way!   
  
[Elizabeth] Robert! Where did you come from?   
  
[Romano] Who knows with this fic?   
  
[Mark] Good point.   
  
[Elizabeth] Ohhhh! Mickey Mouse!   
  
[Abby] Where?   
  
[Elizabeth (pointing)] There! I'm going to get his autograph!   
  
[Abby] Me too!   
  
[Deb] I'm going to get some more water.   
  
[Kerry, John, Luka, Peter, and Cleo] NO!!!!!  
  
***MAIN STREET CAFÉ***  
  
[Dave] Finally, some food!   
  
[Cleo] You make me sick. We ate fifteen minutes ago.   
  
[Dave] Mssjdshah?   
  
[Luka] Not again. Dave, how many times do we have to tell you not to talk with your mouth full?  
  
[Dave] Who knows?  
  
[Abby] I can't wait to see these fireworks!   
  
[Deb] Me too. As soon as I can see without the image being blurred.   
  
[John] I knew you shouldn't have drank that water.   
  
[Deb] You?! You're the one who told me to drink it!   
  
[John] Me? No, not I!  
  
[Luka] The fireworks are beginning!   
  
[Everyone] Ohhhh! Awwww!   
  
[Kerry] Cool!   
  
[Abby] Look at all the colors.   
  
[Luka] I like the music.   
  
[Romano] Me too.   
  
[Dave] I wish I had my video camera.   
  
[Cleo] Me too.   
  
[John] Well, they're over.   
  
[Luka] That was great.   
  
[Kerry] Let's go home.   
  
[Everyone Else] Home!!!  
  
[Kerry] To the hotel.   
  
[Everyone Else] Oh, okay.   
  
[Luka] You had me worried there for a moment there, Kerry.   
  
[Kerry (evilly)] Heh, heh.   
  
[Luka] Uh, oh.   



	6. Day Six

Day Six  
  
[John] Actually, its nighttime.  
  
[Deb] Yeah. We're all having dinner, on our last night here.   
  
[Kerry] We had a little trouble getting Romano here, but we finally did.   
  
[Dave] Who are you talking to?   
  
[Kerry] No one.   
  
[Kovacsgirl] Hello, I'm -----. I'll be your server tonight.   
  
[Peter] You!   
  
[Luka] Why is there a little dotted line when you say your name?   
  
[Kovacsgirl] Because I can't say it. I can't violate the rules again.   
  
[Luka] Why?   
  
[Kovacsgirl] Because then I couldn't finish the fic.  
  
[Luka] What would be so bad about that? I rather like it here.   
  
[Kovacsgirl] This is why:   
  
[Angry Reader 1] Hey! Where's the rest of the story?   
  
[Angry Reader 2] Yeah! I want to see what happens!!!  
  
[Kovacsgirl] Plus I don't want any hate mail in my inbox.  
  
[Luka] So, what's your real name?   
  
[Kovacsgirl] -----   
  
[Luka] Gee, that was informative.   
  
[John] Why are you working here?   
  
[Kovacsgirl] At Hook's Pointe? Because I need money.   
  
[John] What for?   
  
[Kovacsgirl] Oh, I have an idea. Let's have a question and answer session after the fic.   
  
[Peter] Why? Was the supposed to be sarcastic?   
  
[Kovacsgirl] Yes.   
  
[John] Will you just answer my question?   
  
[Kovacsgirl] Fine! Okay, I need the money so I can go to med school.   
  
[Luka] You want to go to med school?   
  
[Kovacsgirl] Yes.   
  
[John] I didn't know that.   
  
[Dave] I thought you were omnipotent.   
  
[John] Well...  
  
[Luka] SO what college do you want to go to?   
  
[Kovacsgirl] Gonzaga.  
  
[Luka] Not in Chicago.   
  
[Kovacsgirl] I'm not exactly rich, ya know.   
  
[Dave] Where's Gonzaga?   
  
[Deb] Spokane, Washington.   
  
[Kovacsgirl] Actually, I'm only going to premed at Gonzaga. I want to go to med in Chicago.   
  
[Luka] Wise choice.   
  
[Kovacsgirl] I thought so myself.   
  
[Dave] Ya know; Washington is a long ways away from Chicago.   
  
[Kovacsgirl] Actually, I'm going to Spokane this weekend.   
  
[Cleo] Gee, like we really care about that.   
  
[Kovacsgirl] Well "Boo hoo" to you too.   
  
[Luka] So, where do you live?   
  
[Kovacsgirl] In -------- which is in -------.   
  
[Luka] I should have known.   
  
[Dude in the Kitchen] -----! Get those people's orders and get your ass back in here!  
  
[Kerry] Is that correct, people's?   
  
[Kovacsgirl] I really don't care. What do you people want to eat?   
  
(Later, I'm too lazy to write what they want to eat)   
  
[Deb] So, what do you want to talk about?   
  
[Romano] Nothing.   
  
[Dave] I like monkeys.   
  
[Cleo] That's nice.   
  
[Dave] I thought so myself.   
  
[John] You know Dave; I think you're supposed to act smarter.  
  
[Dave] Why?   
  
[John] Something about a review saying you should be smarter.   
  
[Dave] Who are they to dictate my intelligence level? If I want to be dumb, I will be.   
  
[Mark] Si. Tu estas muy tonto.   
  
[Elizabeth] What?   
  
[Mark] Dave esta tonto.   
  
[Peter] I believe Mark is talking in Spanish now.   
  
[Mark] Si, espanol ahora!  
  
[Elizabeth] Why?   
  
[Mark] Porque, mi cabeza.   
  
[Cleo] What is he saying?   
  
[Dave] He said "because of my head."   
  
[Mark] Si. Yo tengo hambre!  
  
[Dave] He's hungry.   
  
[Luka] This is very crazy!   
  
[Romano] How much of your brain did they take out?!?!   
  
[Censor Monkey 1] Nope, can't say that!   
  
[Romano] Why not?   
  
[Kovacsgirl] Yeah, why not.   
  
[Censor Monkey 2] Spoiler.   
  
[Deb] Who are you guys? Er...monkeys?   
  
[Censor Monkey 3] We're the censor monkeys.   
  
[Censor Monkey 1] It's the Fan Fiction Fairy's day off.   
  
[Mark] Por Supuesto.   
  
[Dave] Of Course.   
  
[Deb] I think I liked you better when you were dumb.   
  
[Mark] Tonto!  
  
[Deb] Whatever.   
  
[Censor Monkey 3] Anyway, what are we going to do with you, Kovacsgirl?   
  
[Kovacsgirl] Let me off easy?   
  
[Censor Monkey 1] One Moment.   
  
[Kovacsgirl] Well, what is my castigation?   
  
[Censor Monkey 2] Banishment.   
  
[Kovacsgirl] Ha, banishment? Be merciful, say "death"; for exile hath more terror in his look, much more than death. Do not say banishment...There is no world without Verona walls, but purgatory, torture, hell itself. Hence banished is banished from the world, and the world's exile is death. Then "banished" is death mistermed. Calling death "banished," thou cut'st my head off with a golden ax and smilest upon the stroke that murders me!   
  
[Elizabeth] Hey, that's pretty good. "Romeo and Juliet," right?   
  
[Mark] Muy bien.   
  
[Dave] Very-  
  
[Deb] Quit it!   
  
[Kovacsgirl] Yup. Act 3, Scene 3.   
  
[Censor Monkey 2] Pardon us again.  
  
[Kovacsgirl] What now?   
  
[Censor Monkey 3] Since you can quote Shakespeare like that, you aren't banished.   
  
[Kovacsgirl] The best of times!   
  
[Censor Monkey 2] But, you can't finish the fic.  
  
[Kovacsgirl] The worst of times!   
  
[Censor Monkey 3] But...  
  
[Kovacsgirl] The Spring of Hope!   
  
[Censor Monkey 1] Never mind.   
  
[Kovacsgirl] The winter of dispare!   
  
[Angry Readers] WE WANT TRAVELS WITH US!!!!!  
  
[Censor Monkey 3] Fine, you can finish it!   
  
[Kovacsgirl] Yay!   
  
[Luka] No special quote?   
  
[Kovacsgirl] No. Oh, by the way, here's your food. I'll let you eat in peace.   
  
[Dave] Good.   
  
[Peter] Excellent!   
  
[John] Were are you going?   
  
[Kovacsgirl] To think of what to write for "Day Seven"   
  
[John] Oh, okay.   



	7. Day Seven/Finale

Day Seven  
  
[Peter] I can't believe this trip is over already!   
  
[Dave] Me too. *Sob*  
  
[Mark] Yo tambien.  
  
[Peter] God, he's still speaking in Spanish!  
  
[Mark] Si.   
  
[Deb] Lol.   
  
[Mark] Que?   
  
[Deb] Lol. It means Laugh out Loud.   
  
[Mark] Oh.   
  
[Dave] Was that English?   
  
[Mark] Ingles? No.   
  
[Kerry] Here comes the bus!   
  
[Cleo] Good. It was getting hot out here.   
  
[Peter] Will you stop complaining?   
  
[Cleo] Why? It's my nature.   
  
[Peter] Oh, okay.   
  
[John] Dave, will you stop crying?   
  
[Dave] *sob*  
  
[Luka] ???  
  
[Deb] Here comes the bus!  
  
[Kerry] Good.   
  
[Romano] Ah, nice and cool!  
  
[Dave] *Sob* Good-bye Disneyland.   
  
[Deb] Dave, you're such a wuss.   
  
[Dave] Boo hoo hoo!   
  
[Luka] Do you need a Kleenex?   
  
[Dave] Un hun.   
  
[Luka] Yo! Anyone got a Kleenex?   
  
[Elizabeth] I do!   
  
[Luka] Can we use it?   
  
[Elizabeth] Sure.   
  
[Luka] Here Dave.   
  
(Dave blows his nose and wipes his eyes)   
  
[Dave] Do you want it back?   
  
[Elizabeth] Um, no thanks.   
  
[Dave] A gift! Wow, it isn't even Christmas or my birthday!  
  
[John] You're being stupid again.   
  
[Mark] Si. Tonto!   
  
[Deb] Shut up.   
  
[Dave] Oh, sorry. E=MC2   
  
[Cleo] Hey, I still need a battery. Anyone got one?   
  
[John] Sure.   
  
(he throws is and it hits her between they eyes.)   
  
[Cleo] Ow.   
  
[Peter] Why aren't you dead?   
  
[Cleo] Why would I be dead?   
  
[Peter] I hit you between the eyes...  
  
[Cleo] Yeah, but not THAT hard.   
  
[Peter] Are you sure?   
  
[Romano] I really don't want that Doug guy coming back.   
  
[Luka] Me either.   
  
[Mark] Me gusta Doug.   
  
[Dave & Deb] SHUT UP!!!!!  
  
[Mark] Pesaroso! Mi Dios!  
  
[Deb] ERRR! Let me at him!   
  
[Dave] Fight! Fight! Fight!   
  
[Bessie, the Bus Driver] Not on my bus!!!  
  
[Dave] Why not?   
  
[Bessie, the Bus Driver] I can't stand the sight of blood.   
  
[Romano] Me too.   
  
[John] But you're a doctor. A surgeon no less!  
  
[Romano] So? It's the truth.   
  
[Elizabeth] He is, believe me!   
  
[Cleo] Why should we?   
  
[Elizabeth] 'Cause I work with him.   
  
[Mark] Como no.   
  
[Deb] One more word out of you and...  
  
[Bessie, the Bus Driver] No fighting, remember children?   
  
[Deb] I ain't no child!   
  
[Kerry] I'm not a child.   
  
[Deb] What are you an English teacher?   
  
[Kerry] Almost.   
  
[John] Wow, I didn't know that.   
  
[Deb] So much for being omnipotent!  
  
[Luka] Do you realize that Abby hasn't said anything for a while?   
  
[Abby] You're right, I haven't!   
  
[Dave] Who cares?   
  
[Abby] I do. I get paid by the line.   
  
[Cleo] What?! You're getting paid for this?   
  
[Abby] Yeah, why else would I do it?   
  
[Dave] Yeah, you don't think I'm always this dumb, do you?   
  
[Cleo] Well...  
  
[Romano] And do you think I'm really afraid of blood.   
  
[Elizabeth] Well, no.   
  
[Mark] I don't even speak Spanish.   
  
[Peter] The secret comes out.   
  
[Luka] Damn, Abby. I knew you couldn't keep that under wraps.   
  
[Abby] I need lines! I've got an education to pay for!  
  
[Dave] Yeah, I guess Cleo would have found out sooner or later.   
  
[Peter] I don't know...  
  
[Cleo] Hey!  
  
[John] Maybe later...   
  
[Cleo] You mean all of you are getting paid for this?   
  
[Luka] Yeah.   
  
[Cleo] Even you Bessie?   
  
[Bessie, the Bus Driver] Yup. I am a WWF fanatic.   
  
[Cleo] Kovacsgirl!!!!  
  
[Kovacsgirl] You called?   
  
[Luka] It was more like screaming...  
  
[Cleo] Are all these punks getting paid?   
  
[Dave] I'm not a punk!  
  
[Cleo] You're right. You're a bum.   
  
[Dave] Hey!   
  
[Kovacsgirl] Yeah. Pretty much so.   
  
[Cleo] Are you?   
  
[Kovacsgirl] No, I don't own the rights to ER.   
  
[Cleo] Well, why am I not getting paid?   
  
[Kovacsgirl] Do you really want to know?   
  
[Cleo] Yes!   
  
[Kovacsgirl] We'll need Pollster Chico for that. Chico!   
  
[Pollster Chico] What's up dudes?   
  
[Deb] Ah-HEM.   
  
[Pollster Chico] Oh, sorry. Dudes and dudets.  
  
[Kovacsgirl] Actually Chico, we need some help.   
  
[Pollster Chico] Oh hey Sarah, what's hanging?  
  
[Kovacsgirl] Shhh, they're not supposed to know that.   
  
[Pollster Chico] Right...  
  
[Luka] You're name's Sarah.   
  
[Kovacsgirl] Yeah.   
  
[Luka] I thought we weren't supposed to tell us that.   
  
[Kovacsgirl] Hell, I've practically broken every other rule in this fic, why not go all out?   
  
[Luka] Good point.   
  
[Cleo] What about me?   
  
[Kovacsgirl] Oh, sorry. Yeah. Chico, we need the results of the poll.   
  
[Pollster Chico] Which one?   
  
[Kovacsgirl] The one about Cleo.   
  
[Pollster Chico] Oh, that one's pretty ugly man. You sure that's the one you want?   
  
[Kovacsgirl] She asked for it herself.   
  
[Pollster Chico] Okay man. Well, 90 percent of you said you'd like to see Cleo not get paid. 2 percent said the greasy hared Croat...  
  
[Luka] Hey! I don't have greasy hair!   
  
[Pollster Chico] Hey, keep your shirt on man. 3 percent said the horrid little turd.   
  
[Romano] That's me.   
  
[Pollster Chico] 1 percent said the druggie.   
  
[John] I'm getting better!   
  
[Pollster Chico] 1 percent said the cranky cripple.  
  
[Kerry] I AM NOT CRANKY!   
  
[Pollster Chico] That's in the eye of the beholder, lady. And finally, 2 percent said the brain dead attending.   
  
[Mark] What?   
  
[Kovacsgirl] There you go. That's why.   
  
[Cleo] Where's that poll from?   
  
[Pollster Chico] Ve havh our sources.   
  
[Kerry] Everyone off the bus, we're at the airport.   
  
[Dave] Bossy, bossy.   
  
[Kerry] Are you coming back to Chicago with us Kovacsgirl? ...And Pollster Chico?   
  
[Kovacsgirl] Nah, this is where I leave you guys.   
  
[Luka] So, is this the end?   
  
[Kovacsgirl] Yes.   
  
[Dave] It's so sad! *Sob*   
  
[Deb] Not this again! You sound like a foghorn when you blow your nose.   
  
[Dave] Do not!  
  
[John] Will we ever see you again?   
  
[Kovacsgirl] Oh, I imagine so. Old writers never die. They just keep on writing.   
  
[Everyone] Bye!   
  
[Kerry] Thank-you.   
  
[Kovacsgirl] Don't mention it. See you all later.   
  
(They leave)  
  
[Pollster Chico] So, what do you have brewing in your mind for your next comedy?   
  
[Kovacsgirl] Oh, I don't know. Maybe a "Survivor" type thing. Maybe I'll do a Shakespeare. We'll see.   
  
[Pollster Chico] I imagine we will...   
  
*El Fin*  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------  
  
Well, that's it. This crazy story has finally come to a close. I wonder what will happen later...   
  
Thank-yous:   
·My loyal readers from neoxer.com, fanfiction.net, and fanfiction.ertvonline.com. Thank-you so much for hanging on to the end! I've had a ball with this story and I'm glad that so many others have enjoyed it like I have! I also appreciate your generous reviews. I love to hear from you!   
·The web masters and mistresses from the afort mentioned sites. Thank-you for posting "Travels With Us" and all my other fics. I couldn't keep going without you!  
·Rachel: Thank-you for your continued support!   
·Anna: you may not want to *perform* this one, but your excitement has kept me going. Sam: thanks for all the wackiness in my life! Brooke: Thank-you for the continued support. Sarah M, Julian, and Phoebe: Thank-you for just "being there!"   
·My family: Thank-you for not mentioning all the time spent on the computer working on this! Thank-you for your support.   
·Mrs. Gant: Thank-you for teaching me how to write in *proper* English!   
·Senora: Thanks to you I can speak Spanish!   
  
Dedications:   
To my loving Grandfather. You may not be here to see this, but I know you'd get a kick out of it!   
  
Please contact me any time with your questions, comments, concerns, criticisms, and complaints. I love to hear from you: kovacsgirl@yahoo.com or hotaru_13@altavista.com.   



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